I had a birthday party like in sixth grade at Tracer, which was like a laser tag little place in Overland Park, Kansas, and it was awesome. It was great. But it was all LED lights and you couldn’t tell when you saw something. You didn’t know if you were hitting something all the time. And that was 25 years ago. And here we are still dealing with this Mickey Mouse LED shit and I can’t see a laser fire off like a Stormtrooper? It’s just, someone’s dropped the ball here and I want Steve Jobs and Rupert Murdoch to, whatever they’re screwing around these days that I saw on Yahoo news, knock it off. Alright? Get laser tag workin’.
Get kids back out there running around, you know, trying to shoot each other instead of just sitting on their couch smoking their bongs, playing their Red Dead Redemption. Get’em out there, get the heart rate goin’. And maybe you know, we’ll shed a few pounds and uh, we’ll be better soldiers for you? Get the military involved. C’mon folks. Laser tag. Let’s step it up. Please?
— An Improvised Monologue About Lasers | Jason Sudeikis